A groundbreaking way of understanding the tensions that define relations between women and their stepchildren. Half of all women in the United States will live with or marry a man with children. And what woman with stepchildren has not--in order to defuse the often overwhelming challenges of the role--referred to herself as a "stepmonster"? Wednesday Martin unlocks the emotional mysteries of why stepmothers think and feel and act the way they do. Martin draws upon her own experience as a stepmother, interviews with other stepmothers and stepchildren, and fascinating insights from literature, anthropology, psychology, and evolutionary biology to reveal the little-understood realities of this most demanding role. She illuminates the harrowing process of becoming a stepmother, considers the myths and realities, counteracts the cultural notion that stepmothers are solely responsible for the challenges they encounter, and considers the emotional and social challenges men with children face when they remarry.
Includes bibliographical references (p. [281]-313) and index.
Formatted Contents Note:
Wall of one's own: becoming a stepmother -- "She's such a witch!" Fairy tale history and the stepmothering script -- "You're not my mother!": and five other universal step-dilemmas -- "You're not my child!": anger, jealousy, and resentment -- Him: understanding your husband -- Your marriage -- Sociobiology: what the birds, the bees, and the white-fronted bee-eaters can teach us about stepmothering -- Stepmothers worldwide: anthropology, attachment, context -- Stepmother sadness and depression: understanding the risk factors -- Women with adult stepchildren: lessons from "lifers".
Summary: A groundbreaking way of understanding the tensions that define relations between women and their stepchildren. Half of all women in the United States will live with or marry a man with children. And what woman with stepchildren has not--in order to defuse the often overwhelming challenges of the role--referred to herself as a "stepmonster"? Wednesday Martin unlocks the emotional mysteries of why stepmothers think and feel and act the way they do. Martin draws upon her own experience as a stepmother, interviews with other stepmothers and stepchildren, and fascinating insights from literature, anthropology, psychology, and evolutionary biology to reveal the little-understood realities of this most demanding role. She illuminates the harrowing process of becoming a stepmother, considers the myths and realities, counteracts the cultural notion that stepmothers are solely responsible for the challenges they encounter, and considers the emotional and social challenges men with children face when they remarry.
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